Free · from the Firm & Fair Playbook

Difficult conversations with employees, and what to say in them

Have the conversation early, in private, and not while you’re angry. Say what you saw, with dates and times, ask what happened, say what you need from now on, and agree on what happens next. Then write it down the same day.

The guides below give you the first words for the conversations owners put off, what to check before you start, and what never to say. Each comes from a word-for-word script in the Firm & Fair Playbook.

Firm & Fair · Checked October 2026

The same four moves, every time

Notice it early. Talk privately. Write it down the same day. Follow through. None of that is complicated. What makes it hard is doing it between the lunch rush and payroll, with people you like, on a team too small to absorb a bad week.

Notice it early. Once is a moment, twice is a pattern starting. Say something at twice: a private word about what you noticed and what you need. No speech, no write-up.
Talk privately. Never on the floor, never in front of the crew, and not by text. Use a text to set up the conversation and nothing more.
Write it down the same day, on the right form, in plain words, while you still remember exactly what was said.
Follow through. The check-in you promised, the next step you named, or a thank-you when it’s fixed.

When the moves aren’t enough, the path is the same for everyone: coaching, a documented conversation, a written warning, a final warning, then letting someone go. A few serious acts can skip steps, and even then you check the facts and get advice before you decide.

Start here

How to discipline an employeeFour moves, then the path from a quiet word to a final warning. The same for everyone.
How to fire someoneThe checks the day before, the fifteen-minute meeting, and the week after.

Everyday problems

1Late againLate again, for the fourth time: the talk with the clock-in times in hand.
2The no-call, no-showThey missed a shift without a word. The talk before their next one.
4Phones on the floorA customer waited while they scrolled: the talk, and a phone rule that’s fair.
5The attitude (“not my job”, eye-rolls, the sigh)Eye-rolls, sighs and “not my job”: name what they did, not the attitude.
6A customer complained about themA customer called to complain: get your employee’s side before you decide anything.
7Two people who can’t work togetherTwo of your people won’t work together, and now the customers can hear it.
8Gossip that’s splitting the crewOne post in the group chat, and now the whole office is taking sides.
9Sloppy work you keep fixing yourselfYou’ve been fixing their work in silence, and they don’t know it’s wrong.
10A safety rule ignoredCaught breaking the same safety rule twice, so today’s talk leads to a write-up.
12Cash or inventory that doesn’t add up (no accusation)The drawer keeps coming up short, and you don’t know why yet.

The ones only an owner has

13The long-timer who’s slippingYears of good work, now slipping: ask about the work, not about the person.
14The friend you hiredYour friend is on the crew and the rules are bending: talk as the owner, at work.
15The family member on payrollThe relative on your payroll, held to the same rule as everyone, at work, not at dinner.
16The top performer nobody can standYour top earner is the one nobody can work with: correct the conduct, keep the results.
17Undermining you in front of the teamThey told the crew to ignore you: keep their opinions, stop the conduct, in private.
18The raise you can’t affordThey asked for more than you can pay: what you can do, why, and a real date to revisit.
19“I’ll quit unless…”Your best person has another offer and wants an answer. Answer, but not tonight.
20The one who acts like they own the placeA long-timer making calls that are yours. How to draw the lines and keep the caring.
21Cutting hoursThe work dropped and someone loses hours. Decide how before who, then tell them first.
22Laying someone off (the job goes, not the person)The work dropped and one job has to go. The meeting, from the criteria to the last check.
23The manager you promoted who isn’t working outYou made your best worker a lead, and it isn’t working. Own your part, then two options.

On paper, then out

24The documented conversationThe second time after a coaching talk: the verbal warning that gets written down.
25The written warning meetingThe documented talk didn’t fix it. Now it’s a written warning.
26The final warningThe last step before the end of the job, clear enough that nobody is surprised.
27Starting a performance planTargets you can count, real help and weekly check-ins, for someone you want to keep.
28Letting someone go for performanceThe plan ended and the numbers didn’t move. A short, decided, kind meeting.
29Letting someone go for one serious actA shove, a threat, a confirmed theft. Check the facts first, then one short meeting.
30Letting go someone who’s been there for yearsFourteen years, then a final warning. A careful, generous exit that still holds up.
31Suspension pending investigationA serious report you can’t check today. Off the schedule, with pay, nothing decided.
32Telling the teamSomeone’s gone as of today. The team hears it from you before the group chat does.

When it gets serious

When they say “lawyer” or “labor board”It’s a right, not a threat. What to say in the moment, and what to do next.
When an employee brings you a complaintHarassment, discrimination, pay or safety: what to say first, and what to do next.

Free templates

Employee write-up formThe written warning form, in Word and PDF, with a filled-in example.
Verbal warning templateThe record of a documented conversation, in Word and PDF, with a filled-in example.
Final written warning templateThe last step before the end of the job, in Word and PDF, with a filled-in example.
Performance improvement plan templateGoals you can count, real support and weekly check-ins, with a filled-in example.
Termination letter templatePerformance, conduct or position eliminated, each in Word and PDF with an example.
Attendance logLate arrivals and absences by date, so a write-up rests on a record, not memory.
Employee incident reportArguments, threats, damage and missing money, written down the same day.
Employee witness statement formThe form a coworker fills in, in their own words, about what they saw or heard.
Workplace investigation report templateThe record of what you looked into, who you talked to, what you found and decided.
Suspension pending investigation letterThe letter for sending someone home while you look into a serious report.
Employee termination checklistThe steps of a departure on one list, from final pay and notices to keys and logins.
Resignation acceptance letterThe same-day letter that confirms the last day, the final pay and what comes back.
Employee departure announcementThe short note that tells your team who’s leaving and who covers what, with no reasons.

Before any write-up or firing: the Check

Trouble often starts with something reasonable done at the wrong moment: a write-up the week after a complaint, a firing right after a request for time off. The Playbook has you run the Check first.

Before you act, has any of this happened?

They complained about something at work recently.
They asked for time off, or for a change in how or when they work.
They told you about something personal that may need time off or a change at work.
There’s a workers’ comp claim.
They were a witness in someone else’s complaint.
They’ve talked with coworkers about pay or working conditions.
The timing could look like payback.
It’s a layoff, and you’re choosing someone 40 or older.
Someone could believe the real reason is a different one.

Any yes: stop, and get advice before the next step.

A tip from the Playbook: many business insurance policies include an HR or legal helpline. Find out whether yours does now, before you need it.

The Firm & Fair Playbook

Every conversation on this page is a word-for-word script in the Playbook, with the record to fill in the same day.

32 conversations, word for word, 18 templates with a filled-in example each, and Quick Cards for your phone.

$97 once. Instant download. 30-day refund, and you keep the files.

See what’s inside

Questions owners ask

How do you start a difficult conversation with an employee?

In private, at a time when neither of you is in the middle of something, and not while you’re angry: if you are, wait until you aren’t, even if that means tomorrow morning. Keep it short. Say what you saw, ask what happened, say what you need from now on, and agree on what happens next. Then listen to the answer, because sometimes it changes the picture.

Do I need an HR department to discipline an employee?

No. The path is the same in a business of five: coaching, a documented conversation, a written warning, a final warning, then letting someone go, with the same step for everyone who does the same thing. A few serious acts can skip steps, after you’ve checked the facts and gotten advice. What you need is the Check, the two-minute list on this page, before anything goes on paper, and someone who knows employment law when it turns up a yes. How to discipline an employee, step by step.

What should I write down after a hard conversation?

What a camera would have caught: dates, times and what was said, not labels. “Clocked in at 7:18, 7:22 and 7:31 for 7:00 shifts” beats “chronically late”. Do it the same day, before you go home, on the right form: a verbal warning template for a documented conversation, the employee write-up form for a written warning.

Free

Take Script 1 with you.

The complete first conversation as a PDF to keep, and the full contents of the Playbook. Then four short emails over eleven days: two more hard conversations, the four moves behind every script, and what’s in the full Playbook.

Not legal advice. Practical wording and process guidance for business owners, written for workplaces in the United States. For a specific situation, talk to an employment attorney licensed in your state.